Something has been on my mind a lot lately. I am as guilty of it as the next woman. Call it the “Mom Wars.” The battle lines are drawn. Do you know where you stand?
* Stay at home, work from home, work outside the home
* Home school, private school, public school
* TV or not
* Organic or not
* Home birth, birth center, hospital
* Epidural or natural
* Co-sleeping or crib
* Bottle or breastfeeding
* Vaccinate or not
* Prius or Suburban
And that’s just a short list.
Where did we as women, especially Christian women, learn to categorize other women? Are we born thinking in these ways? Do we learn early on as we compete with each other?
Do you know the scene at the beginning of Terminator when the terminator goes into the biker bar? He’s looking around sizing up people looking for clothes that will fit him. As women, how easily do we size up a new acquaintance? From first glance, we take in hair, make-up or lack there of, clothes, shoes, jewelry. And that’s just the outside.
Just a few minutes of conversation and we have put this new person in one of two categories: agrees with me or disagrees with me. The former we use to assure ourselves that we are right. The latter we use to feel better about ourselves. As in “at least I’m doing the right thing about …, unlike her.” How easy it is to dismiss someone just because we don’t agree.
Shouldn’t we put aside our differences and support each other? Mothering has to be one of the hardest jobs out there. We need all the support we can get and who best to give it than other mothers. On issues such as those mentioned above, Scripture is silent. As such, each of us is making decisions, with God’s grace, for the best of our families.
Instead of sniping at each other, can’t we love each other and appreciate the difficulty of making these decisions. To be clear, I am not arguing for moral relativism. There are issues on which I believe there are clear right and wrong sides. These issues, however, are rarely the ones we use to divide ourselves up as moms.
As Paul wrote, “I am the chief of sinners.” I know my failings are great, and I pray God will help me. With God’s grace, maybe we can all spend our time building each other up instead of tearing each other down.