My name is Rachel Green Miller. I am a daughter of the Reformation. I was brought up in a Christian home where my parents instilled in me a love for God, reformed theology, and learning. I have a degree in Medieval History from Texas A&M University. I was part of Reformed University Fellowship where I learned more about what it is to believe and what it is to be reformed. My greatest blessings in this world, aside from my name written in Heaven, are my husband, Matt, and our three boys.
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I think your blog is lovely! So I’ve nominated you for the “One Lovely Blog Award.”
Thank you for your thoughts
I found your blog while looking for a way to reply to Douglas Wilson’s article on ‘Superior Women’ in today’s edition of Desiring God. (April 22, 2018). He talks about how a wife is either her husband’s crown or rottenness in his bones. He barely mentioned the husband’s role in marriage. I tried to reply to him through a comment on The Desiring God Facebook page, but don’t know if it will be answered. As I looked for him, I began to see the controversy he is embroiled in, and as I said, found you. I am saddened to admit that I don’t understand many of the terms you use to describe wat you are or are not. (Maybe I need to attend a theology school!). Can you recommend a site or book that will explain them? What is your position on the role of a wife?
My reply to Douglas Wilson is below.
I became distressed reading the article about “Superior Women”. As is normal, the overwhelming majority of the article was devoted to what the wife should be like and almost nothing was said about what the husband should be like.
How does this apply to the Abigail’s of today, whose husbands are disrespectful “fools”, “harsh and badly behaved”?
Peter did not say that godly wives would always win their husbands to the Lord, only that they might. Must a woman therefore stay with her husband no matter how she is treated?
I have yet to hear a sermon or read a book that tells men how to treat their wives in such a way as to make the woman want to respect them. Most men do not know how. Don’t you realize that women long for this kind of self sacrificial man? That a wife would easily respect her husband and follow his decisions if she knew he had her best at heart, not his?
The church has greatly failed its women and children by not discipling its men. This cannot be corrected with a few sermons or a book. It will take commitment from godly men to become dedicated mentors to other men, walking with them daily for years, much like in AA. Always available, always leading, sharing their own struggles and having their own mentors, being held accountable even as they hold others accountable. Being more than a brother, more than a friend, and becoming an intimate and trusted part of each other’s lives. Moreover, it is necessary that the wife be able to trust the mentor also, knowing that he has her best interests in heart as he advises her husband.
If we wish to build strong families, if we wish to win our children, if we wish to win our neighbors, if we wish to affect society, we do not need political causes, video series, or more programs, no matter how good. They are worthless unless and until we grow our men.
Hi Susan, I couldn’t agree more. I haven’t read the article in question but just want to encourage you, that I believe God very much holds the man/husband accountable for how he loves and leads his wife, and discipleship of men and women in the church must include that thrust. Fools do not make good husbands, wives, sons or daughters and the church community, it’s leaders and teachers need to collaborate with the Holy Spirit to produce every increasing Christlikeness as the fruits of the Spirit are displayed in our lives. No one is exempt from being called to that journey … neither men or women. May God encourage you and give you wisdom and hope. God bless